--this piece first appeared on my 1997 cassette release "The Rants." The text for this, and its companion piece (Track #10) were written in one long eruption at the PC, and I resisted the urge to go back and edit later. It was meant to be a rant.....in the moment......warts and all.
You know, it's tough to express yourself these days. It seems that every possible word, term, and phrase is so loaded with explosive meaning and the attendant social, political, and psychological consequences that you can never fully communicate even a marginally-complex idea without fumbling through your internal Rolodex of implications...without following each path on the labyrinthine flow chart of political correctness and soundbyte potential...without deriving the minutiae of reference...without being caught in the downward spiral of meaning....
To the onlooker, this reactive trip 'round the self-policing loop is certainly less than impressive. Despite this image concern, it is so desperately crucial these days to be properly understood--or, more to the point, to not be misunderstood--that one can scarcely afford not to run the traps. The choice becomes one of intermittent paralysis versus being tagged with a prominent searing brand in the middle of your forehead, labeling you as some hideous social leper in a manner easily discernable to passers-by in this "Era of the 30 Second Trial"....
Because you will be judged, make no mistake; and in this decaying society where the crises caused by gross overpopulation and general lack of conscience are truly not solvable until those fundamental problems are remedied, and shameless political pandering to a dying world's fears dresses up the usual scapegoats daily as an outlet for our rage and helplessness, you can hardly blame a justifiably-frightened and horrified populace from eying each potential human encounter with the same fear and loathing as a Kurdish refugee forced to look for a night's shelter in a minefield. You should be afraid of the next guy, for Christ's sake--I mean, you'd be a fool not to play the percentages, and the odds are clear and getting clearer....."Danger, Will Robinson"....
It is not only an act of mortal self-preservation that drives us to the desperate need not to be misunderstood......As the so-called "fringes" of society move with increasing speed toward the middle (so that "mainstream" is more an island than any majority), and even the most heinous acts previously reserved for terrorists "over there" are now committed almost routinely by our own yahoo contingency, it is central to a sense of self-worth that you not be perceived as one of "them" (plug in your own fear here).
This brings up the dichotomy of internal versus external focus: on the one hand, "internal" focus is bad--constituting selfishness, narcissism, and ultimately amorality; on the other hand, formulating your sense of self-worth through introspection (held up against a morality derived from the appropriate sources in literature, philosophy, and the common-sense aspects of conscience) is the only healthy approach; external focus, in terms of deriving one's self-image, is extremely self-defeating--for the individual and ultimately for the society itself (sidebar here into envy, greed, coveting thy neighbor's ass, religion in general and other mob mentalities)--while external focus in terms of considering people and things besides yourself when acting and forming a world view is certainly integral to any lifestyle that will ultimately sustain this species.
Ah, perception. "Us and Them" goes a long way past the Dark Side of the Moon....It is interesting to note the howling frenzy Americans were working up when Arabs were assumed to have blown up Oklahoma. Before we could get righteously good and lathered, however, a truth more hideous than the act itself reared its ugly mirrored head. We done it to ourselves. The collective poison that was set to spew forth in unprecedented streams from this land toward those decidedly-dusky heathens who have the bad form to live atop the world's power juice and consistently want market value for it without assimilating the cultures of those who buy it was denied its cathartic venting and instead stayed just below the skin to fester and rot. It was as though we couldn't bear the thought of turning the same kind of hatred we have for "them" onto one of "us"--that such a thing would be more damaging to the American psyche than the act of terrorism itself. I have not recently been as ashamed and frightened as I was when I realized that the people of this country were going to use the bombing as a catalyst for knee-jerk debate on “the insidious creep of the federal government.” Where was the condemnation?....where was the outrage and the coming together to root out this cancer in the lymph nodes of this country?....Rather than spending our energies on turning over rocks and shining the light of day on our domestic Hesbolas and turning them to ash in the withering glare of that scrutiny, we took the lowest possible road. Within days, these impotent, paranoid, misanthropic wastes of carbon who couldn't count the toes on their own feet were elevated to the same glorious heights in the media pantheon usually reserved for the endless supply of mutants paraded through the daytime talkshows. Was the media afraid to condemn these men because such a stance could somehow be interpreted as a stand against "property rights", "block grants to the states", or some other Republican smokescreens so treasured by the one or two corporations that now own all the world's media outlets? Was the average citizen afraid to speak out because of fear for his own safety, since he hasn't really felt safe even in his own home in years? Have we all collectively become so numb, stupid, and hopeless that the soundbytes we have been so relentlessly fed by the powers that be are the only context we have left into which to plug new information? If so, we will surely die with that shallow warm feeling that comes from not breaking ranks with the mob....If not, we can try to tell those around us, one at a time, that there are no easy answers...that the world is not bi-polar and that there are shades between all possible answers....that these things need to be viewed with the forebrain rather than the medulla....
but be careful how you say it...beware the downward spiral of meaning.....
credits
from Handwedge From the Trap,
released January 1, 1999
Walter Ehresman: text, processed narration, keyboards, theremin, bongos.
Called "the quintessential Austin DIY artist" by famed local disc jockey Charlie Martin , Walter Ehresman was an eccentric
presence in the Austin music scene from the '80s until his 2015 move to Mexico. A prolific songwriter, multi-instrumentalist and recording artist...and a restless musical spirit, always looking for something new, expressed with fearlessly honest, socially-conscious lyrics....more
Three renditions of “Snowflakes in July” explore all aspects of the song’s stunning beauty, including a mind-blowing 17-minute live version. Bandcamp New & Notable Aug 15, 2020
